Change in life.

Change in style.

Change in tendencies.

I wonder, am I getting better with age, or more devious? The people that I once held so dear...not so much. The things I once adored...fading to black.

I am not a type, but I am a practice. If that makes any sense, explain it to me, because someone near and dear described me as such and offers no further explanation.

So...

People read this...

...

...

...

that I did not know read this...

...

...

...

and I am curious as to why they do. So I feel kind of off about updating. I know I'm already vague, but I wonder if I should be more vague, or less. Do I care about the drama that may erupt from expressing my feelings? My ideas? My thoughts? The fact that I am totally rocking out to ABBA right now?

I say I don't, and I really don't want to, but it's...strange.

Anyhoo. . .

Okay, so there's really no reason to care, right? Because the people who already dislike/look down on/bad mouth me will do so regardless. And the people who are the opposite, well, that's why we call one another "friend" right?

What brings this up? Well...long story short?

I picked up on a submissive vibe from a guy [in RL] that didn't seem the type to be submissive. After an incident in which he was very much not submissive. And I used that. I got him to spill his darkest fantasies to me. Not by physical force, merely by willing him. And I could tell, [I could tell!!] that he didn't want to make these confessions. But he did. And his relief at my approval, his joy at my pronouncing him a good puppy was so evident...and such a high for me.

Don't know what that was about. But I'm thinking about it. Because it was fun... a lot of fun. And so few guys are worth my submission... *leans back and considers the implications* Perhaps I am, after all, a bit of a switch?

And now, I discover I've been tagged. By my boy Kriz. And he says NO COLDPLAY?!?! What the hell. No Coldplay and only 5 damn songs. Ye are a cruel and merciless taskmaster, o ye adorably english wonder boy.

Alright then, my top 5 songs [but in no sort of best to worst order].

My Town - Buck 'o' Nine
Because it's me, my youth, embodied in a song. Because I had a velcro wallet on a chain. Because I spent a lot of time with my record collection. Because my soul is INDEED sound when I'm in my hometown.... Yeah.

Greedy Fly - Bush
Because it was the first song that began to put me in touch with my peculiar brand of sexual deviancy.

Pictures of You - The Cure
Because all good gawths are hopeless romantics.

Marvelous Things - Eisley
Because my best, recent works of prose have been inspired by the ethereal, creepy dream of that is the marriage of lyrics and vocals in this song. And other Eisley, but this is the one I put on repeat when I'm weaving something particularly off kilter. [SHAMELESS PLUG: Check my writing diary in the near future for the results]

Road I'm On
Because even though I wrote it the words, I never imagined it sounding so good. It's not bragging, because I never intended it to be a song. It was a friend of mine that turned it in to one. And now I listen to it and don't even recognize it as my idea, it's just...really good. Also, you can guess and guess who I wrote it about, and you'll never get it. And I'll never tell, because it'll ruin it. *grins mysteriously*

So now, I hereby tag:

coolwatyr - The one that can always cheer me up when she doesn't even know I'm down.

imortlnoctrn - The one that makes me smile whilst remembering my own youth. Except I'm too young to actually say that.

liquid-mojo - My freak-on-a-leash and first Diaryland love.

impkin - My dearest, darling, darkling Poppet.

raven72d - Because I haven't heard from you in a while.

Done? Are we satisfied dearest Kriztov? Not a lick of Coldplay!