There's something about starting a joke, and that build up. Seeing the hopeful expectation in the other person's face. That amused smile that hovers there, waiting to break into a guffaw at the punchline. To see that anticipation, so vividly portrayed, and to crush it like and injured snail being put out of it's misery.

God, it gets me off!

And it doesn't matter how many times it happens, they still hope. I can preface it by saying, "I heard the stupidest joke in the world today..."

There may be hesitation, a look of trepidation. My grin encourages them. They see my smile and mistake my amusement at the misery I am about to inflict and they think, "Well...this one may not be so bad."

And then they ask me to tell it. Tell my utterly un-funny joke.

"What's big and red and eats rocks?" I say.

A pause. My smile widens. They are encouraged. "What?"

I can barely contain my glee. They take heart, thinking they are about to hear something that might actually make them laugh. They might laugh so hard a tear comes to their eye. They might think it's so funny that when they try to re-tell it, they can't. It's too funny, they keep cracking up right before the punchline. They might...but they won't.

Now I'm laughing. I'm so excited at the prospect of the letdown, I'm about to pee my pants.

"A BIG RED ROCK EATER!!!!"

The face that was once bathed in a pre-laughter grin changes. The smile withers. The excitement melts from their eyes. The hopeful aura turns to disgust as they realize that once again, I have won. I have once again drawn them into my sick little experiment of human nature.

*sigh*

Oh man...it's better than candy.