Seriously, any time a guy wants to bitch about feeling bad, you can always trump him with your period. If not your period, I'm sure childbirth will make him kneel at your feet in surrender. Something along the lines of this I imagine:

"Honey, I have the flu, I've been throwing up all day, I feel so horrible, you just couldn't imagine."

"Oh, couldn't I dear? I have a blood-soaked wad of cotton shoved deep inside my vagina and my uterus is tying itself in knots. I can't keep anything down, and if I manage too, it comes shooting out of my ass in the form of projectile diarrhea soon after. Why don't you shut the hell up now?"

Or maybe this:

"Oh god honey, I just passed a gallstone the size of a marble through my urethra!!"

"Oh, poor baby. See your big headed son running around? I carried him around in my belly for 9 months and then squeezed him out of me through a hole normally just big enough to shove a tampon into."

*sigh*

I'm sorry, I get bitter and bitchy when I'm extremely uncomfortable. And right now, I'm freezing (try 51 degrees right under the air-conditioning vent), I'm cramping and bleeding, my stomach is churning, and I'm generally in hell.

I'll go now.