Welcome to my atonement kiddies. Allow me to explain something first. I'm married. Or at least as married as a heterosexual sexual female can be to another heterosexual female. And our marriage has definite devisions. To put it shortly, she's the man in the relationship. It's not a bad set up. I'm very well taken care of. And I don't mind being taken care of, seeings as how I take care of her in my own right.

I digress...

I came to work this morning and went to clock in. Purses, kiddies. A table full of purses! I wouldn't call it an obsession (she would), but I will admit that I have a hard time turning away from a cute purse.

I went to my desk and the purses had already infiltrated my mind. Then the girls in the back office said, "Come. Come downstairs with us. Come on. You know you want to. Everybody's doing it. Come on."

Peer pressure kiddies. I blame it all on peer pressure!

No, I'm lying!! I suggested we go, just to look, I promise! I knew I was weak. I called her. I called her to tell her I wanted to go downstairs. I called her to have her tell me not to go downstairs. I called her.

And she wasn't there. She wasn't there kiddies. She was in a meeting. I knew this. I did. I forgot! I forgot about the meeting!

I didn't forget, I'm lying again. I called her to cover my ass so I could say I called her and not be lying!

*sigh* It is an obsession. I need help.

I went downstairs. And I saw it. A tropical print. Beaded details. So cute. $65?? So cute...

And I saw it. Round. Straw flowers. So very cute. $25.

"Do you like them?"

Yes, I do. I like them very much. She smiled at me. A pretty girl. Exotic looking. Dazzling smile. She smiled at me again.

"We do payroll deduction."

She smiled at me. Brilliant smile.

"Which one would you like?"

Which one? Which one?! Are you MAD!!! I can't take either of them!! I can't buy a purse!! I didn't ask! I can't buy another purse. I can't! I WON'T!!!

Upstairs, I try to call her again. No answer. I email her:

You love me, right?

She calls me.

*sigh* I blame it on the gansta rap and peppermint schnapps.

But I have two, new, darling little purses. I'm not sorry. How could I be sorry? I got away with it!! I got away with it kiddies.

I'm ready for my spanking now...