Okay, on to Las Vegas!!

Friday, July 11th

Cosmo and I had an appointment at the salon. She was getting waxed and I was getting a mani/pedi. I chose a brilliant chrome color for my hands and feet. After Cosmo was done with the waxing, she discovered that in our rush to get out of work, she had forgotten her wallet. So, back to work to pick it up. We got home and it was time to dye our hair. I went my favorite shade of Manic Panic and she did a reverse Ozzy [red on top, black underneath].

Saturday, July 12th

Finalized meetup plans with friends who were already in Vegas, finished packing, pretty boring day all around. Rented Summer Heat VolleyBall and The Simpsons Road Rage to kill time.

Sunday, July 13th

Woke up at the ungodly hour of 4am. Showered, got dressed, waited for our ride. The towncar we hired was prompt and the driver was cute, even if she was kind of uptight. We got to the airport on time, checked our bags, and headed to security. Seeing all the signs warning people not to make jokes about weapons and violence made it very hard not to crack wise about the ceramic shiv I'd stuffed up my snatch. Cosmo forgot about her studded leather watch and set off the alarm. We did find it alarming that our surgical steel piercings didn't set the thing off, as many weapons can be made of surgical steel. Scalpels, etc. Plenty of leeway to pack deadly weapons on your person with which to hijack a plane. I know a lot of people who get pissed off about the long lines, but I was always so shocked at how lax security was before 9/11. Personally, I'd submit to a strip search if it ensures my plane doesn't go down in a fireball at the whim of some whacko!

I digress...

We landed in Las Vegas ahead of schedule and were pleased to see a serious looking gentleman holding up a sign with my name on it. He greeted us and led us to the baggage claim, retrieved our bags and led us outside to the limo The Mirage had sent for us. Yes kiddies, we travel in style all the way. In the limo, we indulged in some champagne and within the amount of time it took to get from the airport to the hotel, we'd finished half a bottle. We checked our bags with the bellhop and strolled past to crowd of people checking out to the concierge to check in. After checking in and getting our keys, we made our way to the buffet and indulged in all you can eat brekkie and more champagne. Shortly after we had come back with our first plate, a German family was seated next to us. At the same moment, Cosmo exclaimed "Sheisse!" I'm not sure why, but we immediately became a point of interest to the German family.

After we'd stuffed ourselves and had a happy champagne buzz on, we headed up to the bedroom. As you can tell, I'd exhausted myself at work the past 2 weeks, and the two of us slept until around 5pm.

After we woke up, we called a few of our friends [haven't come up with suitable alcoholic names for them yet] who were staying in the same hotel and got dressed for dinner. We went to eat at Brazilian steakhouse in the hotel and the 5 of us got seated next to a pair of DIRTY old men!! They looked like they'd been golfing all day and were feeling no pain, thanks to the copious amounts of bourbon they were swigging. Both of them kept making dirty comments that seemed like they were meant to entice us up to their room for some fun with older men. One kept staring at my cleavage and when they overheard it was my birthday, they sent drinks over. You should know by now I'm not the type of girl to turn down a free drink, although I did shudder when they left and dropped a napkin with their room number in my lap.

After dinner, we went to the craps table where the 2 guys in the party taught the 3 girls how to play. I cam away $150 richer, and blew my winnings on a Tabasco theme $1 slot machine.

After gambling, our krew decided to meet the rest of the group at Olympic Gardens, a 2 story strip club. The women were on the first floor and the men on the second. I had, up to this point, only seen male strippers on TV and really had no interest in the real thing. Unless it was like The Full Monty. Yeah, I'd pay for THAT show, I promise you! We got upstairs, despite my protest, and as soon as I walk in I see a ripped and tanned hottie onstage. If it had been only that, I might have stayed, but he was wearing this penis encasing tube-sock meets speedo garment and gyrating like his life depended on it. That was entirely enough of that and did nothing to change my mind about male strippers being useless and disgusting. We went downstairs where we stayed for the next 2 hours. The boys all got their jollies buying me lap dances, which was just fine with me. Cosmo started feeling left out and wished she was onstage, so we all left and made our way back to our suite. Our party consisted of 5 boys and 4 girls, ourselves included. We weren't stupid, Cosmo and I had used our toiletry bag to pack a veritable bar. The party continued in the suite for quite awhile. I wound up falling asleep while making out with one of the boys.

Monday, July 21st

Having forgotten to close the curtains the night before, we woke up to the bright Las Vegas sun around 9am. I wiped the drool from my face and the chest of makeout boy #1. Cosmo had apparently kicked everyone else out, as it was only the 3 of us in the room. #1 finally woke up as we were getting dressed to go to breakfast and stumbled back to his own room.

Cosmo and I went to catch a taxi and ran into one of our chick friends who had just returned from a sleepover at another hotel. She decided to catch a taxi with us to the Paris for breakfast. In line for the buffet, while Girl A was running Cosmo's comb through her hair, Cosmo noticed a couple guys shooting us furtive glances from the front of the line. It could have been my Flavine colored hair or Cosmo's Earl piercing, but they were definitely interested. Turns out they were German. How do I know this? Well, we'll just call the shorter, darker haired one of the two Makeout Boy #2.

#2 and his friend made it a point to talk to us when they saw us getting food, and when they finished, they came and sat with us. This was their first time in Las Vegas and they were staying there at the Paris. We exchanged room numbers and made plans to meet at The Red Square later that evening.

The 3 of us left the Paris with full bellies and anticipation for the night ahead. We headed back to the Mirage where we first changed into our swimsuits and then headed down to the cabana we had reserved for 3 days. We found most of our krew already down there, #1 was already hitting on our server and I used the opportunity to order a couple melon coladas. We longed in the heat, alternating between playing sweaty games of poker and bullshit, napping, and plunging into the pool when we got too sweaty. Girls A, B, and C spent most of the time tanning with a couple of the boys, but Cosmo and I don't like the sun like that. Our tan is all out of a bottle, and I stay out of the sun as much as possible. Cancer's a scary, scary thing kiddies.

That night, we had tickets for Mystere, a fact I had forgotten when making plans with #2 and his friend, so we called and left a message for them that we would be at Treasure Island that night and wouldn't be able to meet them until after the 10:30 show, but if they wanted, we could meet in the lobby of the Mirage and they could come hang with us upstairs. By the time we left the cabana to shower and dress, there was a message from #2 saying they would love to meet us and come up to the room.

To be continued...

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