I hate my "patient registration" voice. I really fucking hate it. It makes me want to smash my phone. I wish I didn't have a "patient registration" voice, but it just happened. I don't even realize I'm doing it.

Wait, I do realize I'm doing it. I hear every damn word I'm saying, but I can't make it stop. It's so damned perky and annoying. I can't believe some people actually talk like this all the time. It gives me a freaking headache!

It conjures up visions of cheerleaders and waitresses and telemarketers.

Shoot me.