1) If I'm flirting with a guy, you don't have to worry, it's when I go bashful and silent that it's time to see what's going on.

2) If my cousin or my sister don't like you, clearly, they're seeing something I'm blind to, and guess what? It's over.

3) There will always be another man in my life, and his name is Jamie Oliver.

It's cool though, because while I may drag my ass out of bed OBSESSIVELY every Saturday morning at 4am to watch his various incarnations on Food Network, in the end, it's whomever I'm currently seeing is the one that reaps the benefits... for example, the next cold day, I'm totally making this:

• Good knob of butter
  
• Olive oil
  
• Handful fresh sage leaves, 8 leaves reserved for garnish
  
• 6 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed
  
• 5 red onions, peeled and sliced
  
• 3 large white onions, peeled and sliced
  
• 3 banana shallots, peeled and sliced
  
• 11 ounces leeks, trimmed, washed and sliced
  
• Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
  
• 8 cups good-quality hot beef, chicken or vegetable stock
  
• 8 slices good-quality stale bread, 3/4-inch thick
  
• 7 ounces freshly grated English Cheddar
  
• Worcestershire sauce
  

Put the butter, 2 glugs of olive oil, the sage and garlic into a heavy bottomed, nonstick pan. Stir everything round and add the onions, shallots and leeks. Season with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Place a lid on the pan, leaving it slightly ajar, and cook slowly for 50 minutes, without coloring the vegetables too much. Remove the lid for the last 20 minutes, the onions will become soft and golden. Stir occasionally so that nothing catches on the bottom. Having the patience to cook the onions slowly, slowly, gives you an incredible sweetness and an awesome flavor, so don't be tempted to speed this up.

When your onions and leeks are lovely and silky, add the stock. Bring to the boil, turn the heat down and simmer for 10 to 15 minutes. You can skim any fat off the surface if you like, but I prefer to leave it because it adds good flavor.

Preheat the oven or broiler to maximum. Toast your bread on both sides. Correct the seasoning of the soup. When it's perfect, ladle it into individual heatproof serving bowls and place them on a baking sheet. Tear toasted bread over each bowl to it like a lid. Feel free to push and dunk the bread into the soup a bit. Sprinkle with some grated Cheddar and drizzle over a little Worcestershire sauce.

Dress your reserved sage leaves with some olive oil and place 1 on top of each slice of bread. Put the baking sheet into the preheated oven or under the broiler to melt the cheese until bubbling and golden. Keep an eye on it and make sure it doesn't burn! When the cheese is bubbling, very carefully lift out the baking sheet and carry it to the table. Enjoy.