*sigh*

That, and the fact is that it's actually funny, in a grotesque way.

So I was working for about 3 hours when I needed to go to the bathroom and check the status of my feminine hygiene products. I sit down and look at the crotch of my panties and I can't help but exclaim, "Goddamit! What the hell?" before I realize there's someone in the stall next to me. The front of my pad had folded over and the blood had been seeping onto the crotch of my white cotton panties. The material acted like a wick, gladly soaking up the discarded body fluid and my formerly white undergarment was red. Some of the back was still clean, but the entire front was soaked through.

I replace the pad, or try to, but, of course, it won't stick to the wet material. At this point I realize my hands are COVERED IN BLOOD. The stall starts to spin. Keep in mind, it's only the fact that it's blood from my vagina that causes this reaction. I recover (barely) by realizing I need to tend to the crisis at hand. I unroll a huge amount of toilet paper and blot uselessly at the bloody mess resting between my knees. I give up and say a silent prayer of thanks to the clothing gods that I wore a black skirt today.

I stand up and adjust said skirt. I pull the bottom of my hoodie down over my ass, this time thanking her for being my motivation and fitness guru. A few months ago, the bottom of the hoodie would not have covered my ass so completely.

I exit the stall and wash my hands like I suffer from an OCD.

I make it back to my cube and get back to work. Did I mention that ontop of today being the first day I've eaten this week, and the day my fucking period decides to go to hell, I'm swamped at work? Yeah. Fun, right?

So I'm slaving away and I suddenly smell myself. I look at the time. Oh god! 5 hours to go and I smell myself already? F U C K!!

I race up to the bathroom on the abandoned 3rd floor and sit down in the wheelchair stall. I put my head in my hands and rack my brain. I'm now near tears when it hits me. I'll get a wad of paper towels wet, wash myself down there the best I can, insert a tampon, shuck my panties, rinse them in the sink, and wring them out. I'll be fine! It'll be fine!! It'll work and I won't smell!!

So I get to work. As I was myself I nearly lose my breakfast courtesy of the amount of carnage I clean from my crotch. I gave up and plugged the source. I removed my panties and left the privacy of the stall. I decided if I stand very close to the sink and keep hunched over, no one will see, just in case anyone comes in. I rinse and rinse. I spent 10 minutes rinsing these and another 10 wringing them out. I grab another wad of paper towels and scurry back to the stall. I sit down and wrap the paper around the material and wring some more. I finally give up and put them on. I apply another pad, wrapping the "wings" around and attaching them to eachother, as the adhesive REALLY won't stick now that they're soaked.

I'm uncomfortable, but I haven't smelled myself at all today. My panties are still damp. I'm still glad I'm wearing a black, flowy skirt, as it makes it impossible to tell that there's a huge, panty-shaped wet spot on my ass.

Well...time to go now kiddies. How's that for unbiased honesty?