My life is crap, and I'm not saying that because I'm at work on a Saturday. I'm saying it because I'm at work on a Saturday and I'm locked out of my office. They remembered to leave the key this time, but, you see, my office is apparently so damn important, they have to have a special lock that doesn't actually unlock when you unlock it. I cruised in, fired up my computer, and got to work. I had saved work especially to do today, and I was actually looking forward to an afternoon by myself to do it. I turn on my local hard rock station and blast it.

I manage to work for about half an hour and then I have to print out a report. I run the damn thing, hit print, finish belting it out along to my latest favorite song, and pop out to pick up the report.

What you must understand about my workplace is they are cheap bastards, and instead of giving the employees in the back office a printer, we have to exit our office go down the hall, and go into another office to pick up the things we print out.

I pick up my report and head back to my office, looking it over, spacing out, and I get to my door. I smile to myself as I hear Metallica very clearly through the door. Yeah, I'm at work in flip-flops and I'm blasting innappropriate music. I'm such a mother-fucking-rebel.

And upon re-entry to my office, I discover we have retarded doors. Yes kiddies, the door is locked. My comp is on, my radio's blasting, my desk is non-compliant, what with the patient information scattered all over it, and I'm locked out.

Fuck me.

Well, what are ya gonna do? I left the key sitting on my desk, I'm completely locked out.

To quote the immortal words of Cartman, "Screw you guys, I'm goin' home."