Allow me to explain something to you kiddies. I'm not what one would call high-maintenance. I do, however, require some things or else my life is hell and I can't help but make everyone else's life hell as well.

1) I require access to an indoor toilet. This does have the lone exception of going camping, when I'm fine with wandering off into the woods and doing my business. I do not use porta-potties. They're disgusting, and they make me claustrophobic. The last thing I need while doing my business is anything that's going to give me more bathroom issues.

2) I require access to an indoor shower every day. Again, the exception is camping.

I came home tonight to discover the sump pump had quit and we can't use any thing that will send water or anything else down the pipes. On top of that, a porta-potty had been rented and placed in the front yard. I get no toilet, no shower. I did force Cosmo out to the porta-potty with me as an emergency stop, but there are going to be issues if I can't pee inside and shower when I get home tomorrow night.

The fact that I'm surfing on top of it all makes it so much worse.

I'm off to bed, unwashed and unrelieved. At least I can use the toilet at work.