One of Cosmo's friend's from the UK called her this morning. That was fun. I had a dream about him last night, which was wierd. Nothing erotic, more's the pity because he's really adorable.

Cosmo had a dream that she was Anthony Corleone's daughter...also interesting.

Now I have to go shower and dress because my newly married cousin's are on the way down as I type and I'm not going to greet them looking all thrashed.

12:21 - This is my second break of the day. I took an excessively long shower right after finishing the last bit of this entry. I just stood there for about 15 minutes, the hot water running from my head to my toes...dripping off my hair into my eyes, and I just stood there.

After the shower, I hurridly dressed and rushed back into it. My newly married cousins had arrived, and Big Dog [as he calls himself] who has been in chef's school for the past 9 months decided to abandon Wifey and come poke around the kitchen. That was annoying as hell. He criticized my every move as he watched me blanche the baby carrots and asparagus. He nit picked as I put the dressing together. He teased Cosmo as she mashed the potatoes. I had my fill of his crap when he wandered in to ask me what I was doing to the cranberries. My voice rose to an unholy pitch as I ordered him from the kitchen, telling him I was this close to beating him with the closest thing I could find. Wifey heard me and told him to leave me alone. He did, until my mom went to fetch him to put his carving expertise to work. I finally dished up my relish and grabbed Cosmo and fled as I caught a glimpse at his "skill". Laughable, really.

So everything's on the table. Cosmo and I are going to have to head back out to carve some of our organic, free range little bird.

Oh, did I tell you? Big Dog's greeting to me when he saw me in front of the stove was, "So are we going to have any of that soy, organic, fake shit today, or do we get real food?" I responded with a big smile and the middle finger until he turned around and left. Then, when my mom told him about our turkey, spouting off about how their turkey wasn't good enough, we had to get an organic, free-range bird, he cracked a grin at me and said, "That's what I meant, dumb ass." Dude. Really? By saying "soy, fake shit" you really meant organic fed, free range? Whatever.

I guess it's almot time to go. *sigh* I'll be back with another bit after the feed.

14:51 - And it's done. Big Dog and Wifey, and The Breeders, and The Brat, and The Chunk have left. Cosmo will leave soon to go up to her aunt's house where I'm sure more chaotic nonsense will occur, but for now, as far as I'm concerned, it's all over except the leftovers. Now, I'm going to put my song on, pop some IB, slug some Rob, snort some saline, lose my cute mary jane-esque shoes, toss my blouse and skirt off in the general direction of the hamper, and slip into a pair of boxers, a wifebeater, and my Mickey Mouse slippers before shuffling out for some of my dressing and cranberries. Then I think it's time to pop off a couple orgasms and take a nap. Sounds like a plan if I ever heard one. I'll be back with at least one more update.

19:07 - 7pm and I'm ready for a shower. I just pulled clean clothes out of the dryer and I'm going to toss my bedding in. As soon as that's done, I'll be ready for a hot shower and then a nice long soak. What's that kiddie? Oh! My orgasm count? Well...I managed 3 so far, I plan for one in the shower, and possibly another one in the bath. If Cosmo's not home, maybe I'll pop off one last one before settling in for an evening of GTA:VC. That'll make a grand total of 6 for the day. Pretty good for being tired.

I also thought I'd drop a couple of my prize recipes on you kiddies. Aren't you special? I've made both of these every year since I was in highschool. Both are easy to play with, switch ingredients. Double, triple, half the recipe. Whatever, they both shine every time I make them.

frozen-vodka's Much Requested Cranberries

2 bags of fresh cranberries

about a cup of fresh, squeezed OJ

the zest from about one large orange, or a couple smaller ones

roughly 2 cups of sugar, more or less to taste

Throw it all in a saucepan, cook over medium high heat until about half of the berries explode. It'll look kinda "saucy" but it firms up, I promise. Toss it in something pretty and serve it once it's about room temperature. Rave reviews every flippin' year kiddies, I swear.

frozen-vodka's Easy Ass Dressing

1 pound Kielbasa, quartered lengthwise, sliced into managable chunks

4 very large onions, chopped

2 large bunches of celery, also chopped

a few handfuls of finely chopped pecans

good quality butter

about 24 ounces of bread crumbs [I always use 2 boxes of Mrs. Cubbinson's, that's where I got that measurement]

chicken broth, enough to make it all good and moist

any herbs or seasoning that strikes your fancy

Cook the sausage in a heavy skillet. Cast iron always rocks my socks off. When it's good and fried, use a slotted spoon to move it to a bowl or plate or whatever. Dump in the chopped onions and celery, cooking it in all the lovely kielbasa grease. When the onions are clearish, dump that into a container. Finally, in the same skillet, melt enough butter to saute the pecans. When that's all done, you've got enough time to clean up while shit cools for awhile. Then, get a large roasting pan, dump all the breadcumbs in it, then the onion/celery mixture, then the pecans. This is a good time to add any herbs or seasoning you think it needs. I enjoy a little sage, but it's damn tasty without anything extra as well. Add some chicken broth, mixing gently. Keep adding broth and mixing until it's really moist. You don't want a lot of liquid pooling up, but you want it just this side of soggy. Make sure you mix it well, or you'll wind up with crunchy, dry patches, which suck. When it's nearly soggy, and well mixed, toss it in the oven, about 350F for at least 20 minutes. More or less, depending on your tastes. That's it. If you like it, double the recipe, because I never have enough leftovers.

And that's it. I should write a fucking cookbook, shouldn't I? Maybe one day I'll bless you all with my hot cocoa recipe. Then again, maybe I'll take that one to my grave. *grin*