Him: ...
Me: Hey
Me: What's up?
Him: Are you coming over tonight?
Me: I can. After class?
Him: How late is that?
Him: Where are you now?
Me: I'm in the LRC until 8ish, and that class gets out around 10:30
Him: We need to talk
Me: I know. I'm dreading it.
Him: ...
Him: That's a hella positive thing to say
Him: Why would you say that?
Me: What should I say? I know what it is we have to talk about, and I'm dreading it.
Him: That's still a fucked thing to say
Him: And you shouldn't dread it, because the outcome is totally in your hands.
Him: If you want this to work, it will. If you don't want it to, then....
Me: Are you serious?
Me: *waits* That was a real question.
Him: What do you expect me to say? It's in your hands. You either love me, or...
Me: You're a jerk.

[long pause. like, 10 minutes or so]

Him: Still there?
Me: *nods*
Him: What do you want from this?
Me: I think we should save this for when we're face to face. I have a feeling this is really going to end badly, and I don't want it to.
Him: Quit it. Just answer the damn question. What do you want from life?
Him: Because I want you. I want you, forever. I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you. I want to fall asleep with you and wake up with you and repeat until I can't wake up anymore.
Me: If you insist on continuing this, you're going to make me cry, and I don't want to go into my next class looking any worse than I do now.
Him: Fucking answer the question [frozen].
Me: *shakes her head and gives up* I want that. All of that, just NOT NOW
Me: i want my degre and i want a house and I wnat to be ready to settle down. I'm not ready to be a wife yet babe. I'm not. And I'm definitely not ready for motherhood.
Me: *degree
Him: How long?
Me: *want
Me: That's an impossibel question to answer.
Me: Dammit. I told you you were going to make me cry. *impossible
Him: It's only impossible if you want it to be.
Me: And it's not just time. I'm having problems with the idea that I have to give up so much of what I want to make you happy.
Him: Relationships are compromise
Me: What kind of compromise? This is lopsided compromise. I give up everything I believe in and you....what? What exactly do you do?
Him: Why don't you want to have my kids?
Me: Why does it have to be all or nothing?
Him: I think we should take a break.
Me: *chews her lip and then nods*
Me: So it ends like this eh?
Him: Lets talk after your class. Come over?
Me: Okay. I have to go. I'll call you on my way over.

You know what? I lied. I don't want to add anything to this.

After the chatting? We're still together. Barely.

Darling I hope
That my dream never haunted you
My heart is tellin� you
How much I wanted you